A Kidnapped Mind

A Mother's Heartbreaking Story

of Parental Alienation Syndrome

By Pamela Richardson, introduction by Reena Sommer

Dundurn, 280 pages, $25

Reviewed by Brenlee Carrington

THIS true story is excruciatingly painful to read.

With rare courage and brutal honesty, former Vancouver broadcaster Pamela Richardson tells the tragic tale of her son's suicide.

In 2001, 16-year-old Dash Hart killed himself by jumping off a Vancouver bridge. The emotional destruction that led to his death forms the basis of this gut-wrenching memoir.

Richardson's ex-husband and Dash's father was criminal lawyer Peter Hart, who died in 2004. Since 1990, Richardson has been married to Vancouver businessman David Richardson, a former Winnipegger and the father of her two teenage sons.

Richardson's first child, Dash, was diagnosed as suffering from Parental Alienation Syndrome, or PAS, when he was 11.

Former Winnipegger Dr. Reena Sommer, a respected divorce and custody consultant, writes in the book's excellent foreword that PAS occurs when a child is "wrongfully robbed of his right to love and be loved by both of his parents."

Sommer, now based out of Galveston, Tex., explains that as in the case of Dash, one parent (Dash's father) "placed his own selfish need to punish his ex-spouse ahead of the needs of his dependent child."

The late U.S. child psychiatrist Dr. Richard Gardner is credited with having coined the phrase in the early 1980s. Like many other child custody issues, PAS is not without controversy.

The book's title, A Kidnapped Mind, comes from the impact of PAS on children. Sommer writes that Hart's unrelenting attempts to alienate Dash from his mother created "an environment in which Dash was held psychologically hostage for nearly 11 years of his 16-year life."

This book's publication is timely. Earlier this month, the Ontario Court of Appeal awarded sole custody to a father because the mother exhibited a "persistent, ingrained, and deep-rooted inability to support the children's relationship with the father."

Richardson writes with cathartic candour. Her palpable pain and frustration reach out to readers.

Life deteriorated for the fractured family when a psychologist's report recommended interim joint custody. It stated that if a decision had to be made, then Hart should be the custodial parent because "Dash was slightly more psychologically attached to Dad than to Mom."

Subsequent hearings resulted in Hart's being awarded permanent sole custody because the same psychologist determined that although both were "very good parents," Pamela Richardson is a "good parent; Mr. Hart is an excellent parent."

Richardson recalls: "What I felt as I held the custody order in my hands was fear, mixed with great loss. My ability to parent Dash -- or, I panicked, be a part of his life at all -- had fallen completely to the mercy of the only man in the world who wanted to push me off a bridge."

Hart, writes Richardson, repeatedly thwarted her attempts to spend time with her son. He also undermined her relationship with Dash at every turn.

The result was Dash's devastating downward descent. This included numerous behavioural problems and failing to attend school. He also sold drugs. He was picked up by police on one occasion toward the end of his life.

A Kidnapped Mind takes readers on a real life emotional roller-coaster ride. Its message is that whenever possible, former partners and the justice system should work together to ensure that children maintain strong and positive relationships with both parents.

Brenlee Carrington, a Winnipeg lawyer and journalist, is the Law Society of Manitoba's equity ombudswoman.